CHILDHOOD / Stop child abuse


An Empty Bottle

15 June 1996

i yell "I'm gonna tell me da!"
i run home but no dad
Only an empty bottle of booze
Only silence and abandon

i go home for support
But i have no home
Only an empty house
And an empty bottle of port

i go home for guidance
But there is no guide
Only violence
And an empty bottle of Guinness

I no longer go home
For there is no one for me
Only emptiness and loneliness
And an empty bottle of booze


I am not stupid!

13 June 2003

What chance do I have?
Where will I go in life?
If every time I try?
My life is filled with strife

No need for homework
No need to study
No need to achieve
For you son are a dummy

Each time I ask a question
I already know the answer
Why bother son
For you are stupid

You know why you failed?
Of course you do
Because look in a mirror
And see that you are stupid

You cannot go to collage
That is for smart people
The way you are going
You will only clean stables

Pursue not books
Pursue not knowledge
Pursue not fortune
For you there is only failure

It is not your fault son
Some are just borne dumb
But you will survive
Even being stupid

I know not what success is
I know not achievement
I know not love
I know not respect
I know of guilt
I know of fear of failure
I know of terror
I know of sorrow

But I also know
I am not stupid
I am not dumb
I am not alone

Several scores of years
Took me along my path
A wife by my side
Books under my arms

Knowledge is power
Fear overcome
Determination for success
Thirst for pride

A long road
A high mountain
Downhill side
Filled with pride

I say to all
Break the chains
Use your mind
Never be ashamed

Success is yours
Do it on your own
Choose your own path
And never EVER look back


Walls

15 June 1996

Walls of the mind
Walls of the soul
Walls of the heart
Walls to hide behind

No one can hurt me
My walls protects me
No harm may come
No one too close

Within my walls
Lay my weaknesses
Lay my fears
Lay my shame

My walls are my friends
They act to protect me
They are always with me
They are my downfall

Walls cannot be controlled
They re programmed within
Created and forged
With fear and hatred

My walls rise in a second
They have names
Self-denial
Self-pity

Goals in life
As Regan to Gorbachev
Tear down those walls!
All I lack is the strength

The walls have grown taller
They have grown stronger
They defy love
They defy happiness

Walls that bend and break the soul
Walls that strain sanity
Walls that shut out life
Walls that protect a false world

If someone should find out a way
Please let me know
My walls have got to go
I just have to know how

My walls impede my growth
They hide my strengths
They chase away the good
They flaunt the bad

Walls I created out of protection
Walls I cannot destroy
Walls of invisibility
Walls of immense depth

My walls deflect relationships
Deflect passion
Deflect peace
Deflect love

Did God intend for us to have walls?
Are they a curse from below?
Are they penance?
When will I know?

My walls have to go
They have to fall
Only I can break them
Only I can make them

Blame is useless
Change is inevitable
The ghosts are gone
And I am alone

Solitude the walls are down
But quickly they can rise
I must keep them down
I must grow

In God's kingdom
I hope to go
But please God
Let there be no walls


A Child Walks the Night

5 September 1996

A child walks the night
Not seeking friend or foe
Just wandering, seeing where he will go
He walks the sidewalk

He counts the cracks
He wonders , wonders should he
Would he, humm, ever go back
He walks till the dawn appears

Strange thoughts in his mind
Thoughts but no fear
He thought they would look for him
But he knew in his heart
The truth that he was unable to bear

He finds his way home
He goes up to his room
Sitting in the corner
He is alone

Night comes again
He knows his life is not right
A child walks the night


A Child's Eyes

15 June 1996

To see life thru a childs eyes
innocence to hide all lifes lies
peace of heart and mind
freedom to dream in kind
To reach for the stars
and be able to grasp them
what is to remember
what can only be seen thru a childs eyes


A Child with No Love

2 August 1996

A child grows with no love
His hatred for the world consumes
He becomes hard
Knowing only that he has

But one friend
He looks out at the world
And thinks of a message he would send
He wonders to himself

How he will raise a child
For if no love is given
Can one give
The child becomes a man

He battles with himself
For he knows he can
Not blame the world now
But he wants what was lost to him

He hopes every time he gives his love
That he will find peace
And that the child in him will
Learn to love

But love is elusive
He can not wait forever
But will love forever
To whom he thinks he knows

Will she love him forever
His fear this is what
He wishes would be elusive


Grandmother

3 January 2009

In a perfect world
Grandmother's nurture and love
Grandmother's support and guide
Grandmother's are there for you
Grandmother's care for you

In my world
Grandmother's betray and abuse
Grandmother's ignore and demean you
Grandmother's confuse you
Grandmother's mislead you

In the new world
Grandmother's are all gone
Grandmother's have no hold
Grandmother's need to be forgiven
Grandmother's are in the past

Can fear and betrayal go past the grave?
Can a grandchild learn love on their own?
Can one turn anger and fear around?
Can I turn confusion into understanding?

More questions than answers
More anger than love
More roads to cross
More bridges to mend

I am the answer
I am the love
I am the understanding
I am the one in control!


No More

18 January 1997

Sadness envelopes me
Fear of the future
Guilts of the past
Sickness that flows through me

I look around
Loneliness and despair
No one to turn to
No one who cares

I have no future
No dreams
Just emptiness
Just loneliness

Today it is told
is a good day to die
To me that is everyday
every thought

Tomorrow no I think not
No more tomorrows
No more loneliness
No more Fear

A few more hours
A few more minutes
A few more seconds
no more..................

Laughter and Despair

11 April 2002

a baby laughs
laughs at sounds
laughs at shadows
knows not what he laughs at

a child laughs
laughs to feel good
laughs in confusion
laughs so as not to cry

a small boy does not laugh
laughs are replaced with despair
embarrassment and guilt
laughs are only a memory

a young man goes to war
anger inside him drives him
a good soldier he is
the young man never laughs

an man sits in a corner
youth died long ago
maps on his face
sadness in his eyes

a old man waits for death
laughs at sounds
laughs at shadows
knows not what he laughs at


Cork (Corcaigh)

14 April 2003

To walk along the Lee
Shoppe on the grand parade
Eat by the loch
Watching the black swans swim

Going from pub to pub
Listing to the stories and laughs
Smiling at the sweet colleens
Laughing at the jokes

A city of friends and memories
A city of warmth and humour
A city solidly in my heart
A city that owns my soul

With every smell of coal in the air
From friars walk down to the quays
From Patrick street to Lennox's
The memories linger on the senses

In my dreams I walk the streets
Play with the children
Walk along the harbour
For there is no cold in ones dreams


The Quest

18 January 1997

anger grips the soul
one wishs to strike out
frustrastion causes inner decay
understanding is the goal of the day

anger that must be controled
the inner self must maintain
sanity can be regained
calm and understanding

anger to oneself
anger to others
are one in the same
one must remain sane

the urge to strike out is great
it must be stopped
violence makes one weak
understanding makes one strong

control of ones emotions
this is a lifelong test
an exam that when one fails
but can always have a retest

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